Cagalli, Don't Lie to Me
by Kaiun
Summary: Cagalli's ranting about a certain other character. There's only three characters, and Athrun's not one of them. I'm sorry to all of you Lacus fans,this one isn't for you.


**Hey all. This is just some rambling, for those of you who know me, you'll see the coorelation. If you don't know me, just roll with the story. It takes place at a ball in Orb; Cagalli's thinking everything that isn't in quotes. Athrun is in PLANT, but that has little to do with the story, because this really isn't about him. Anyway, its short, but enjoy.**

* * *

Soft lights, they accent your figure. Flowing music resembles your luxurious voice. Your hair twirls gentle as you spin around the dance floor. As far as you, everything is right and there truly is peace in the world, your world anyway.

* * *

I hate you. I can't stand you! How can you just sit there, when everything in your life being so terribly perfect? You have everything, don't you? And you don't work for any of it! It's not fair! 

It's only worse when he's here. Look at you two! When you dance, you are the envy of everyone. You're perfect for each other. Am I supposed to believe that the way his hands fit yours like that is coincidence? Was it just luck that you two are the perfect compliments?

Why don't you ever fight with him? You have no arguments! Everything you have is perfect! And you can't even appreciate it, can you? Everything has been given to you. You've never fought for that freedom, that happiness.

And you're always the perfect one, the one everyone wants to be, wants to have. You're prised by countless nations, including my own. Everyone loves you, with one exception, me.

I'm the only one who sees through you, but not even I can tear you down. My people love you even more than the respect me. And that's why I always have to side with you, because if I don't have you, my numbers aren't there. You can capture an audience with nothing more than a smile, while I am in a constant battle to win their favor.

That's why I hate you. To you, everything comes so easy. You ask and it's given to you, unlike the rest of us. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure you've earned it somehow.

But, for the sake of my country, I have to love you. I watch your broadcasts to level with them. Because they love you, so must I. However, I will continue to wage my silent war against you, who is my friend. Some may call it deceit, but for me, it is the only way to retain myself.

Oh, I can be civil with the best of them. I've been trained to swallow my pride and behave in a manner becoming of a lady. So, the next time we meet, you will continue to be blissfully unaware that anything is wrong. I'll continue to fly under your radar, and when the press asks what I think of you, I'll proclaim "She's wonderful!" and I'll smile, and the world will be none the wiser. Because, how could I lie to the world?

It's not like I do it every day. The face I wear to meet with representatives is my natural face, or so everyone is supposed to think. All of my movements are natural, and in the public's eye, it all comes easy. But that's not me. That's you. And so this is my silent confession, that I hate you, I envy you.

Why should you be given the world, while I have to struggle to look like I belong in it? It's not easy, you know? I've literally fought to find my place in the world. Sure, you were in the war too, but all you ever did was give orders. You told people to kill, and they did, all for the love of you! People died for you and your ideals! I fought. I rushed off into battles, putting my own life on the line so you could sit comfortably and sleep at night.

Do you? Are you able to sleep at night knowing you ordered the deaths of hundreds, if not thousands of soldiers? And you never actually laid a hand on an enemy. I murdered many good men in that war. I killed to protect my country and my way of life. It seems selfish, doesn't it? I fought to end a war, while others fought to prolong it.

* * *

One song ends, and another begins. He holds your hand and bows like the gentleman he was supposed to have been. My brother, your savior, he fought too. He was an innocent, until fate ripped him from the pages of his life. He killed for you, didn't he? But before you, he killed for another. Don't you wonder sometimes, which is stronger, friendship or sex? We would know if she wasn't dead, wouldn't we?

* * *

"Everyone, may I have your attention!" a half drunk Mu La Flaga steps to the podium across the ballroom. You stop dancing and turn like a good girl, to face the speaker, never dropping his hand. "Great, I'd just like to raise a toast, to the other heroes of the war: Murrue, of course, Lacus Clyne, and "the kid" Kira Yamato!" 

At least you have the decency to blush when he calls your name. The crowd cheers for you and the rest of the mentioned "war heroes".

I continue to sit, going unnoticed, while you dance and have a good time. That's okay; the floor tiles seem like better company.

"Cagalli?" a voice asks. Huh? The music changes. "May I have this dance?" It's Kira.

"Hello, brother." I stand. "Why aren't you with her?"

"You looked like you needed some company, especially with Athrun gone and all."

"Okay." He takes my hand and leads me to where he had been dancing with you. I feel unsure, but he places his other hand on my waist and begins to dance. "Now, what do you really want?"

"What's wrong?" he looks me straight in the eye, a feat many men won't try.

"What do you mean?"

"With you and Lacus, what's wrong?"

"I don't know," I lie.

"Cagalli, don't even try to lie to me."

"I really don't know; I don't know how to put it in words."

"Are you that jealous?"

"Me? Jealous! Are you serious?" I focus to stay in step as he spins me around.

"Yes. Why are you mad at her?"

I look down for a moment, to appear lost in thought. I say nothing for a long while, but as the song dies down, I raise my head back up. I have only one answer.

"Because I want to be," mist begins to fill my eyes as I recognize myself.

He drops his hold on me as the song ends. Without saying a word, he walks away, back to you. He is no doubt telling you how heartless I am, but it doesn't matter anymore.

* * *

**I know the ending is rather abrupt. I may add more, I may not, it depends on life. **

**If you're worried about my other story, don't, I'll get to it. I'm a little drained from school, but I'm on fall break this week. So, if you're lucky, I'll get a new chapter or two up.**


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